Market volatility, government shutdowns, trade wars, walls/slats and Brexit probably have you thinking about what really matters in life: shoes. Unfortunately those tickers scrolling across the floor of your chosen financial screen don't tell you which sneakers will help you through these rollercoaster times.
And by 'help you through', we really mean 'distract you from' those sharp dips and spikes that you can't control with your mouse. Today's kicks are meant to bring a shock to the office. These kicks will tell the nervous folks that you're optimistic and a winner because you know when to put that cash you've been stockpiling to work. Tomorrow you'll go back to your sensible shoes, but today it's time to (insert favorite athletic, heroic cliche here)!!!! It's winning time.